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WELCOME, <span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>ADALBERTO TOSSER<</timed>></span>.
WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO DO?
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>>[[URGENT MESSAGES|URGENT]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[MY INBOX]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2.5s t8n>>[[MY OUTBOX]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 3s t8n>>[[PARTY TIME]]<</timed>></span>YOU HAVE <span class="pulse-in"><<timed .5s t8n>>6<</timed>></span> MESSAGES IN YOUR INBOX.
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>[[Subj: Records|Message8]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>>[[Subj: Re: Re: Congratulations! You have been Selected|Message7]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[ubj: Congratulations! You have been Selected|Message6]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2.5s t8n>>[[Subj: Re: Re: Congratulations! You have been Selected|Message5]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 3s t8n>>[[Subj: Congratulations! You have been Selected|Message4]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 3.5s t8n>>[[Subj: RE: Hey? Hey Tot?|Message3]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 5s t8n>>[[RETURN TO HUB.|Start]]<</timed>></span><audio autoplay loop><source src="https://cardzeropress.com/partytime.mp3" type="audio/mp3"></audio>
<img src="https://crabllchosting.neocities.org/partytime.gif">
<span class="secrettext">tos er?</span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 10s t8n>>[[YOUR ALLOTTED PARTY TIME HAS ENDED.|Start]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="secrettext"><<timed 10s t8n>>c n you hear m ?<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 20s t8n>>[[PLEASE LEAVE THE PARTY LOUNGE.|Start]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="secrettext"><<timed 30s t8n>>i think s methi g is wr ng w<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 30s t8n>>[[YOU WILL NOW BE EJECTED FROM THE PARTY.|Start]]<</timed>></span>
<<timed 35s>><<goto "Start">><</timed>>YOU HAVE <span class="pulse-in"><<timed .5s t8n>>1<</timed>></span> SENT MESSAGES.
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2.5s t8n>>[[Subj: Hey? Hey Tot?|Sent1]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 3s t8n>>[[RETURN TO HUB.|Start]]<</timed>></span>YOU HAVE <span class="pulse-in"><<timed .5s t8n>>9<</timed>></span> URGENT MESSAGES.
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 3s t8n>>[[Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [730/738]|Trash9]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 3s t8n>>[[Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [731/738]|Trash8]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 3s t8n>>[[Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [732/738]|Trash7]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 3s t8n>>[[Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [733/738]|Trash6]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>[[Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [734/738]|Trash5]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>>[[Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [735/738]|Trash4]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [736/738]|Trash3]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2.5s t8n>>[[Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [737/738]|Trash2]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 3s t8n>>[[Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [738/738]|Trash1]]<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 3.5s t8n>>[[RETURN TO HUB.|Start]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: finjam15@crabs.life
Subj: Records
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>>Hey Tosser,
Can you send me the Retribution Dept records from this year? I have to do this report and I need some records. They told me to ask you.
Profits Up!
Finn
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO INBOX.|MY INBOX]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: oversight@crabs.life
Subj: Congratulations! You have been Selected
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>>Dear Adalberto Tosser,
As you may know, for your comfort and productivity, the impartial Crab™ LLC Department of Analysis keeps track of every employee’s metrics to ensure all Lines continue to go Up. You may not know that the Department of Analysis is not exempt from this policy! To ensure impartiality an employee is selected at random to analyze the Department of Analysis. You are this month’s lucky winner!
A file is attached to this email. Please analyze the data and deliver a report. Be diligent, as your work will be checked by another randomly selected employee!
Profits Up!
Dept. of Departmental Oversight
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO INBOX.|MY INBOX]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: oversight@crabs.life
Subj: Re: Re: Congratulations! You have been Selected
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>>Dear Adalberto Tosser,
Your report has been received! Your contribution to company productivity has been Noted.
Profits Up!
Dept. of Departmental Oversight
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO INBOX.|MY INBOX]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: oversight@crabs.life
Subj: Re: Re: Congratulations! You have been Selected
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>>Dear Adalberto Tosser,
Your verification has been received! Your contribution to company productivity has been Noted.
Profits Up!
Dept. of Departmental Oversight
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO INBOX.|MY INBOX]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: oversight@crabs.life
Subj: Congratulations! You have been Selected
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>>Dear Adalberto Tosser,
As you may know, for your comfort and productivity, the impartial Crab™ LLC Department of Analysis keeps track of every employee’s metrics to ensure all Lines continue to go Up. You may not know that the Department of Analysis is not exempt from this policy! To ensure impartiality an employee is selected at random to review analysis of the Department of Analysis. You are this month’s lucky winner!
A file and report are attached to this email. Your job is to check the accuracy of the report. Remember, this is the department which analyzes your employee metrics. Ensuring their metrics are analyzed accurately is only Fair.
Profits Up!
Dept. of Departmental Oversight
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO INBOX.|MY INBOX]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: totfox82@crabs.life
Subj: RE: Hey? Hey Tot?
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>>Sorry Tosser. I cannot help with any of these. As I am just a fox. But if you go into my account you should be able to turn the forwarding off. Issue 6288:594301379 should be able to help with that.
Signed. Tot Fox
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO INBOX.|MY INBOX]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: tot@crabs.life
From: adatos35@crabs.life
Subj: Hey? Hey Tot?
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>>I really don’t know why you decided to put me down as the emergency fallthrough for these issues. But if you would be at all able to deal with, I dunno, any of them? It would be much appreciated. Every single day my inbox gets flooded with ATTN REQUIRED and it’s really distracting.
Seriously, this is supposed to be your job I don’t know why I’m on the hook for this too.
Profits Up,
Tosser
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO OUTBOX.|MY OUTBOX]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: it_notifs@crabs.life
Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [734/738]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>><i>Issue 6310EMJAC=18DE4H:71J is close to leaving allowable response window! Please address immediately or el-</i>[message has been truncated due to high volume]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO TRASH.|URGENT]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: it_notifs@crabs.life
Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [735/738]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>><i>Issue 4ILJO9E0L=49OOCN:BAH is close to leaving allowable response window! Please address immediately or el-</i>[message has been truncated due to high volume]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO TRASH.|URGENT]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: it_notifs@crabs.life
Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [736/738]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>><i>Issue NJNKLEI7S=867A14:FFM is close to leaving allowable response window! Please address immediately or el-</i>[message has been truncated due to high volume]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO TRASH.|URGENT]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: it_notifs@crabs.life
Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [737/738]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>><i>Issue 1K2GFHJ2P=6EGELI:0HJ is close to leaving allowable response window! Please address immediately or el-</i>[message has been truncated due to high volume]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO TRASH.|URGENT]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: it_notifs@crabs.life
Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [738/738]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>><i>ATTN REQUIRED: Issue ALEA27LA/E=9/J0F37:P2H is close to leaving allowable response window! Please address immediately or el-</i>[message has been truncated due to high volume]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO TRASH.|URGENT]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: it_notifs@crabs.life
Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [733/738]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>><i>Issue BJNKFNIOA=2IBNP6:M4Y is close to leaving allowable response window! Please address immediately or el-</i>[message has been truncated due to high volume]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO TRASH.|URGENT]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: it_notifs@crabs.life
Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [730/738]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>><i>Issue NPCN911BD=717LJF:I36 is close to leaving allowable response window! Please address immediately or el</i>[message has been truncated due to high volume]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO TRASH.|URGENT]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: it_notifs@crabs.life
Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [731/738]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>><i>Issue GN49INA8I=3ACOM2:7F9 is close to leaving allowable response window! Please address immediately or el-</i>[message has been truncated due to high volume]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO TRASH.|URGENT]]<</timed>></span><span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1s t8n>>To: adatos35@crabs.life
From: it_notifs@crabs.life
Subj: ATTN REQUIRED! Please read! [732/738]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 1.5s t8n>><i>Issue J1CLI48CH=53A7HO:GE6 is close to leaving allowable response window! Please address immediately or el-</i>[message has been truncated due to high volume]
<</timed>></span>
<span class="pulse-in"><<timed 2s t8n>>[[RETURN TO TRASH.|URGENT]]<</timed>></span>